political_talk

LETTERMAN QUOTE: SARAH PALIN'S TOP TEN TIPS FOR WRITING A BOOK

More of Letterman's "Top Ten" on Sarah Palin.

1. "I'll try to find ya some tips and I'll bring 'em to ya!"
2. Have the book translated for sale to European countries like London.
3. Don't let writing cut in to attending "FIRE LETTERMAN" rallies.
4. When in doubt, just type (wink)
5. You can never have enough stories about ice fishing or killing things with your bare hands.
6. Limit yourself to one "you betcha" per chapter.
7. Don't write a word until the check clears.
8. First buy yourself 100--grand of writing outfits
9. Increase vocabulary--use words like "slanket"
10. Close curtains so you don't get distracted by Russia

LETTERMAN QUOTE: Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Spending $63,000 to Have Dinner With Sarah Palin

Another of Letterman's "Top Ten"; his response to the auction run by Sarah Palin, and won by (pre-arranged, apparently) a fan, Cathy Maples, a defense contractor from Alabama.

1. "Will I be done in time to get to the 'FIRE DAVE RALLY'?
2. "Is there valet parking for my snowmobile?
3. "63 grand! That's nearly half of her weekly wardrobe budget!"
4. "Will she hunt and shoot the main course?"
5. "Should we have dinner in Alaska or Russia?"
6. "Does is have to be at the Denny's where Todd works?"
7. "Should I prepare by reading every magazine and newspaper?"
8. "Is it all the moose you can eat?"
9. "Do my kids really need to go to college?"
10. "Is tip included?"